October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and this year, we’re sharing tips from United Way of Central Alabama partners about how to recognize and respond to domestic violence, a serious problem across our six-county footprint.
Each year, Jefferson County alone responds to between 12,000 and 14,000 domestic violence calls, about 1,000 or more each month. And nationally, one in three women and one in seven men will be impacted by domestic violence in their lifetime.
Monica Shields, Senior Director of Family & Community Empowerment and Interim Executive Director of Domestic Violence Services for YWCA Central Alabama, said the family unit is the “cornerstone of society.” Domestic violence, she said, harms everyone.
“It’s important to note that abuse is not caused by ‘a bad day,’”’ Shields said. “Abusive behavior tends to follow the same patterns, regardless of demographic characteristics.”
Below, we’ve listed some “red flag” patterns Shields noted, with examples.
Watch Out for These Red Flags of Domestic Abuse:
“Whatever we experience in our home emerges into society. That determines the level of brokenness that shows up at your place of work, your place of business, your place of entertainment, your place of education and your place of worship.”
– Monica Shields, Senior Director of Family & Community Empowerment and Interim Executive Director of Domestic Violence Services for YWCA Central Alabama
As indicated by Shields’ “red flag” list, there are many forms of domestic violence outside of physical abuse. She also listed emotional and mental abuse, as well as financial abuse and sexual abuse.
Shields said that people who suspect a loved one is a victim of domestic violence should “arm themselves with information” and always be available for that loved one.
“Be available, but don’t dictate, demand or overstep the bounds of your relationship with the suspected victim,” Shields said. “A friend should not demand or tell the victim what to do because that can re-traumatize them. That’s what they’re already experiencing from their abusive partner.”
Tay Knight, Executive Director of Family Sunshine Center, another United Way partner agency which provides services to victims of domestic violence, has called out the need to be mindful of how domestic abuse is talked about.
“Common phrases like ‘They let the abuse happen’ or ‘She ignored the red flags’ shift blame onto the victim instead of focusing on the abuser’s actions,” Knight said. “Even though these statements might not be meant to hurt, they can have a lasting, damaging effect, making survivors feel responsible for the violence they’ve endured.”
United Way of Central Alabama partners with several agencies to provide comprehensive support for victims of domestic violence. These agencies offer a range of services, including emergency shelter, counseling, legal assistance, and advocacy. If you or someone you know needs assistance, please reach out to these agencies for support.