As loved ones grow older, many families face a difficult balance: providing support while respecting the other person’s independence. It’s not always easy. That’s why the Young Philanthropists Society (YPS), a United Way of Central Alabama (UWCA) donor network, hosted a recent lunch & learn focused on caregiving, aging and the conversations that often come with both.
The event featured three local experts who work closely with older adults and their families: Morgan Rhodes, Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC) Coordinator at United Way Area Agency on Aging (UWAAA); Lauren Schwartz, Executive Director of Collat Jewish Family Services, a UWCA partner agency; and Julie Gafnea, Staff Attorney with Legal Aid Society of Birmingham. Together, they offered a practical, honest look at what it means to support aging loved ones with both compassion and clarity.
What to Watch for as Loved Ones Age
“Everyone ages differently,” said Rhodes, a licensed social worker who began her career as an ombudsman advocating for residents in long-term care. “But when someone starts isolating socially or has trouble driving, it’s time to pay attention.”
Spotting changes early matters. Trouble behind the wheel might reflect vision or mobility issues and social withdrawal could point to cognitive decline. Even something as small as clutter, poor lighting or a loose rug can become a serious fall risk.
Gafnea, who works exclusively with clients aged 60 and older on estate planning, said small signs often reveal bigger challenges.
“If you see piles of unopened mail or changes in hygiene, it may be time to ask some gentle questions,” she said. These issues often reflect difficulty managing daily tasks — not a lack of care or awareness.
Starting the Hard Conversations Early
One message came through clearly: do not wait for a crisis to talk.
“Ask your loved ones who they trust to make decisions on their behalf,” said Gafnea. “Then take the next step and put that in writing through a power of attorney.”
Putting a plan in place ensures someone can act on their behalf if needed, before a crisis forces the issue.
Consider keeping a list of key contacts, such as attorneys and financial advisors, and make sure someone trusted can access essential documents. You do not need to know every detail, but you do need access if something happens.
Panelists also urged families to coordinate their approach. When siblings offer mixed advice or make separate plans, it often frustrates older adults and delays important decisions.
The Emotional Side of Caregiving
“It’s difficult to go from being cared for to being the caregiver,” said Schwartz. And when those roles shift, the emotional weight can be just as heavy as the physical demands.
“Depending on the level of need, it can feel like an additional full-time job.” Her advice: lean on your network. “Caregiving is not something you have to do alone. Tap into family, friends and your community.”
Why YPS Leaned In
For YPS members, this session was not just educational, it was personal. Many attendees are just beginning to support aging parents or grandparents — or preparing for the time when they will. Understanding the realities and responsibilities of caregiving now helps ensure families are better prepared later.
Learn more about the Young Philanthropists Society, the group’s role in our community and membership here.