Of all the mental health challenges that can impact our lives, grieving the loss of a loved one can be one of the most difficult. The grieving process is one that requires support, patience and grace, which is where United Way of Central Alabama (UWCA) partner agency the Amelia Center comes in. The Amelia Center, a department of Children’s of Alabama (also a UWCA partner), specializes in serving children, teens and young adults grieving the loss of a loved one, providing a safe place to find hope and creatively express feelings through art and play at no cost to the client. The center also supports parents or grandparents grieving the loss of a child of any age, ranging from pregnancy loss through adulthood.
What is Grief Counseling?
Robert Smith, Executive Director of the Amelia Center, said that counseling is just a fancy word used to describe an honest conversation. “Throughout my 26 years as a therapist, I have observed plenty of people through the grieving process and have learned a lot from their experiences,” he said. “I think counseling provides a safe space for people to talk without judgment and without worry of upsetting the listener.” All counselors at the Amelia Center are master’s level clinicians offering weekly or biweekly therapy sessions where clients can express their emotions in a safe environment.
Beyond discussing grief, a session may also address other life events and challenges. “We problem-solve topical things such as holidays and special events,” said Smith. “I like to help my clients hold themselves accountable to being healthy and making good choices in all areas of their lives.” During the course of therapy, each person can decide along with their counselor when to reduce or end counseling.
How Do I Know If I Need Grief Counseling?
According to Smith, not everyone who experiences a loss needs grief counseling. “I believe everyone’s grief is unique and that everyone has specific challenges that they need to heal from,” he said.
“Many people have very good support systems in their lives, but sometimes people need a little extra. It’s not always possible to discuss these very intimate details of our pain with family or friends because we also don’t want to cause them pain in the process.”
For children and teens, parents can look for signs of distress through behavior changes at home or at school. Signs that a child or teen could benefit from grief counseling may include a drop in grades and/or trouble sleeping.
How Long Does the Grieving Process Last?
Smith views grief as a lifelong process of healing. The acute period of grief can last anywhere from 12 to 24 months, and healing from this part of grief can easily last years. “I always advise my clients that grief will transition from acute grief to forever grief,” said Smith. Most people have already developed coping skills to get through difficult problems, but what works for one person may not work for another. “I encourage my clients to learn new tasks, challenge themselves to be social and reinvest in life and in the relationships that they still have.” Asking friends or family to provide accountability for necessary tasks can also provide support when grief leads to a lack of motivation.
How Can I Support Someone Who Is Grieving?
Smith encourages people not to be afraid to mention, or tell stories about, the person who died. Families can find health and happiness in recounting funny stories, looking at pictures or including someone’s memory in new traditions.
“I’ve learned from doing this over the years that people can heal from almost anything,” said Smith, “Even if they don’t believe it in the beginning.”
To learn more about how UWCA supports mental health, click here.